Tuesday, May 31

I spent the day with little Mason today. He is up in weight to 3 pounds 1 ounce. He is on full feeding through his feeding tube. He had an ultrasound of his little head today that showed he had no sign of a brain bleed. YAY! He is doing awesome. He still is receiving caffeine for his heart de-sats but other than that he if wonderful. He has a roommate in the NICU that is not doing too well. She is a little newborn that needs alot of prayer. The mom is VERY young and I do not know much about her. I have seen her twice, and both times she just came in and dropped off milk and then left....without even looking at her baby. Well the baby is having surgery tomorrow, and the mom is no where to be found. She has not given any consent for the baby to have the surgery, which means it can not be done. From the sound of it, the baby is really sick and needs these surgeries asap. I hope that you will pray for her, and the mom. My heart goes out to them. Not to be a complete downer, but I also saw a mom today, VERY pregnant, smoking a cigarette. I am not judging any of these mothers, but I can not help but get mad. My child is in there fighting for his little life, and these mothers seem to not be worried at all about theirs. It is just heartbreaking. Makes me very thankful for my little man, and makes me want to give my children all the love I can.

Saturday, May 28th

Today I write from the Ronald McDonald house. I got a room here for the weekend. I was able to hold Mason last night for about 2 hours. It was hard to put him back! I am so attached. He is doing great. His weight is holding at 2 pounds 15 ounces. He should be off his IV today. He is on full feedings, only breast milk, and he is digesting everything. He has proved the "Wimpy-White-Boy-Syndrome" wrong. The nurses in the NICU believe that white males are the slowest to improve, and get better, where African American females are the strongest. I don't know how to compare because obviously I have never had an African American girl, lol but I know I am just proud of the little man that God has blessed me with. I will try to keep you updated on Mason over the weekend, just please keep him in your prayers! Thanks you!

Wednesday, May 25th

Today Mason is doing great. He is down to 2 pounds 15 ounces, and is expected to lose more. They said they lose about 10% of their birth weight. Kinda funny, when they don't have much weight to start with. I held Mason this morning for about an hour and a half and he did great. He could not keep his open very long, but I did get to see those baby blues. :) I am so in love already. He has been having some bradicardias, which is when his heart rate goes down, because he forgets to breath. He comes out of it usually on his own, but sometimes you have to rub his back, or thump his heel, (he doesn't like the heel thump) but  Dr. Lipman said that it is completely normal with preemies. If he continues to have these they give him caffeine to help him out. He started feeding through his feeding tube yesterday. They started him on 2 cc, now he is at 5 cc, and he is digesting everything just fine. He also had his first POOP! Yay! His insides are doing their job! I plan to have more pictures on here soon.Thank you for the prayers and please keep them coming! He has a long road ahead of him!

Mason's Birthday! May 23, 2011

Well around 4 am, I woke up completely fine... went to the bathroom and then got back in bed. As soon as I laid down, I started having contractions.  I only has 2, that were 10 minutes apart, but OMG they were awful. So I called my nurse and told her that I had only had a couple, but they were really bad. She started me on Vistral, a muscle relaxer, and put me on the monitor to see contractions and monitor the baby's heart rate. She left the room and I had 2 more contractions, and I had the urge to push! So I called my nurse and told her that something wasn't right, so she called the doctor and the checked and I was 10 centimeters. Talk about fast! It was now about 4:30 am. They moved me to labor and delivery and all I could think was, "I guess and epidural is out of the question...." Inside labor and delivery I had maybe three more contractions and they were telling me to hold him in if  could. The NICU team wasn't there. Well Mason wasn't going to wait. He just decided to come on out and meet the world at 4:59 am. He weighed 3 pounds, 2 ounces, 15 inches long.  Talk about easy labor! Don't get me wrong, it was painful, but it was only an hour long from beginning to end and I didn't have to push.

Mason is doing awesome! His APGAR scores were 8 and then 8. He cried when we was born, which is a first for any of my kids, and he was pink and very tiny! He needed help with O2 for about the first hour, but now he is on room air, breathing on his own. I went to the NICU about 9:30 to see Mason. He was awake, looking around. I got to hold him for a while. He is doing awesome, I am so proud of him. Dr. Lipman is his neonatologist, which was Callie's doctor when she was born. He is an amazing doctor. He has such compassion for his patients, and their families. You don't feel like just a patient with him. He knows who you are, and who you are there to see. He told me that he remembers Callie, told me everything that was wrong with her, and told me that Mason was doing very well. I was surprised that he remembered small details about Callie that I didn't think he would remember. He told me that he remembers me telling him that I wanted to hold Callie if she was to pass. He told me today that he remembers how important it is for me to hold my baby, so that was the first thing he told the nurse, was to get Mason out and let me hold him. Of course, I cried, I have cried a few times today. It just brings back memories, but I am thankful for the new memories that I am getting with Mason.

Went back to see Mason at 1:30. Gave him his first bath....He LOVED getting his hair washed....I told him he was the tiniest thing I ever shampooed. He just relaxed, and fell asleep. He is so adorable. Thank you so much for all the prayers, he truly is a BIG FIGHTER!

Sunday, May 22nd

OK here are some pictures baby Mason. Everything looks great!

Sunday, May 22nd

Today I got to spend the day with Madi and Jason. Kristen and Erika came and saw me and brought me "sugar-free" dove chocolate....(your awesome). The doctor came in tonight and said that Mason is doing great. They are doing NST (non stress test) every four hours. (this is simply putting the baby on the monitor to see how he is doing) I get my finger pricked four times a day..that stinks...but I hope that is a temporary thing. I have a sono scheduled for either tonight or tomorrow. This is just to measure the amniotic fluid and the baby's over all well being. So basically, they said I should just keep doing what I am doing and I can go to 34 weeks. Which is 4 weeks from Tuesday. JUNE 21st is the goal line! I hope I make it, it is just less time that Mason will have to be in here by himself. It would be awesome to go that long and then he is allowed to come home. That would be a true answer to prayer. Well I guess that's it for tonight...I hope all is well in the world that seems to still be turning, although it seems to be on hold for me in here.....lol

Friday, May 20th

I find it really hard to write tonight. I feel like I need some sort of inspiration in my life right now. I feel like everything that I have done up until now doesn't even matter. I feel like I am lost, and I don't know where I am supposed to turn. But then I know where I should turn, I should just turn around and see that HE is still standing there waiting for me to turn around. I have had so much time to myself lately to put things into perspective. It is funny how you can pray and ask for a sign on what is right from wrong in your life, and be scared of the answer, because you already know what it is. It is hard to just turn your life and future completely over to God, to put your whole life in His will. I struggle with this, but I wonder if I had done this a long time ago would I be where I am now? Did He do this to get my attention? I'm starting to believe so...Its just hard to get to the other side of the fence.....

Thursday, May 19th

So today started out uneventful. I had a bad blood sugar test so they are not only keeping me on a low carb diet, they are giving my insulin. (thank you mom) I think she passed it down lol...It is difficult to keep track of what I eat. I have never had to do that before. They said there is a 50/50 chance that I may keep the diabetes after Mason is born.

Around four o'clock today I started having contractions. They got to be every ten minutes apart. The Nurse gave me vistrol which is a muscle relaxer. Well they slowed down, but wow....I am not looking forward to labor. But I am glad that they were able to stop it. They said when I got here I wasn't dilated at all, but they checked me yesterday and I was 3 centimeters. So I don't believe that it is going to be too much longer. I really miss my kids, and this is starting to get harder everyday. Today makes a week that I have been admitted, and it seems like its been forever. I guess I just need to see the big picture, that this is for Mason and not me.

Wednesday, May 18th

I got to see Madi today! I cried when she got here and cried when she left. She was so good. She just laid in the bed next to me, eating goldfish. Jason had to go to work so it was no where near long enough. He told me when he dropped her off at the daycare that she cried and screamed like never before. Of course this breaks my heart. I think maybe he shouldn't tell me those things. I feel bad enough that I can't be there for her.

They did my glucose test today, and I failed it. Which means I have gestational diabetes. So counting carbs is something I know nothing about! So this should be interesting.

Sunday, May 15th

 Sunday morning, I woke up to the nurse telling me that Mason was having heart decelerations with contractions. This was just something that they would have to watch. But in case of infection, or fetal distress, they would preform an emergency Cesarean. This is actually ok to me because they can tie my tubs while they are in there. My sister and her husband am up to see m today. It was nice to have a visitor.  I miss my kids more than I can ever imagine. But I know that this is something that I have to do.

Friday, May 13th

Friday night I was at home with Madisyne, my 2 year old. I was feeling ok, nothing out of the ordinary. I laid down on the couch with Madi to watch a movie. I must have fell asleep, because woke up having contractions and I had reason to believe that my water had broke. Well I called a friend of mine and she came and got Madi and I went to the Regency to see what was going on.
I went to triage and the nurse Kim was one I had had before so she knew that something was up. She checked to see if my water had broke and of course, story of my life, it had. So the journey begins....

They admitted me right away and started me on magnesium. Those of you that have never had the privelage of being on mag, count your blessings. It makes you feel like you have just ran a marathon and then just laid back in bed. Its awful. The reason for the mag was to stop contractions, which it worked.
They kept me on the mag for 24 hours.